AUTHOR: TyriaT (Carri)

Disclaimer: No, they are not mine

Author Notes: Ok, this story started out as a post ep of when I thought Gil and Sara got together, and it kinda morphed into a songfic. “Right Here Waiting” is by Richard Marx. I’ve been looking to use this song for a while now, because I feel it works for both Sara and Grissom and Josh and Donna (my two ships which both became cannon!). This is my first fic, so please be gentle.

I’d like to thank LosingInTranslation for being my beta and basically pushing me into doing this.

Post-ep: Committed

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Chapter 1

Grissom was still a little worried about Sara after the day they just had.  Not only did she have to relive part of her childhood by going to an asylum, a place in which she used to visit her mother, but she also had to cope with being attacked and held at “knifepoint”.  The attack would be hard enough for anyone.  Add in the hard childhood, and that would cause brain overload for sure.

He definitely did not want her driving home distracted, which is why he is looking for her now.  Plus it never hurts to have someone there to listen.

He tries the break room first thinking she might need one last cup of coffee to help with the drive.

It’s empty.

Next, he goes for the locker room.

No Sara, but he does find Nick, Warrick, and Greg.

He hesitates, but decides that finding Sara is more important than them questioning why he is looking for her.  “Hey guys.  Has anyone seen Sara lately?”

“Yeah,” Greg pipes up.  “I saw her about ten minutes ago.  It looked like she was just exiting the observation room connected to an interrogation room.”  He paused for a second.  “It almost looked like she was upset about something.  I was gonna talk to her, but she was looking at the ground and walking kinda fast.  Almost like she was in a hurry to leave.”

“I saw her, too,” Warrick said.  “She was here in the locker room getting’ her stuff.  Then she booked it outta here like there was somethin’ on her heels.  I called to her, but she must not’ve heard me.”

“How long ago was that?” Grissom asked.

“Hmmm…’bout five minutes ago, I think.”

“Ok, thanks guys.”  Grissom turned and walked away.

Just as he got to the door, Nick called to him, “Grissom!  Is everything ok?  I mean is there something wrong with Sara?”

“I don’t know Nicky.  That’s what I’m going to find out.”  Then he walked out the door.

**********

He parks on her street and walks over to her building.  Hmmm…Do I just walk in, or should I call and warn her I’m coming, he wonders to himself.  Eventually he decides if he is there already, Sara will feel obliged to let him in.

He climbs the stairs, goes up to her door and knocks.  There is no answer.  He tries to listen for movement, but hears none.  He knocks again, but there is still no answer.

Maybe she didn’t go home, he thinks.  Maybe she decided to take a drive somewhere else to calm herself down.

He walks down the steps to the parking garage and sees her car parked in her spot.  Strange, he thinks.  Why wouldn’t she answer the door?  He walks back up the stairs to her door, and tries knocking one more time.

Still no answer.

Now he is really getting worried.  What if something happened to her?  What if someone kidnapped her?  What if she’s hurting herself?  He winces at that last thought.  Sara has been doing so well that he cannot imagine she would hurt herself now.  Besides, she’s too strong to take that kind of release.  He firmly dismisses that last question from his head and tries his last resort.

He dials her cell phone and waits for the call to connect.  After five rings, he resigns himself to leaving a message on her voicemail.  But then at the sixth ring, she answers the phone.

“Gris, please…stop.”

He does not actually hear what she says.  It only registers in his mind that she answered the phone.  “Sara, thank God.  Where are you?  Are you alright,” he asks worriedly.

“Just go.  I’m at home.  I’m fine.”

She’s at home?  But I knocked, he thought.  “Why won’t you answer your door?”

“I just…I…Please, just go.”

Oceans apart day after day
And I slowly go insane
I hear your voice on the line
But it doesn't stop the pain

If I see you next to never
How can we say forever

Her voice sounds tortured, which makes Grissom want to reach out to her and ensure there really is nothing wrong.  “Not until I see for myself that you’re alright.”

She sighs with exasperation.  “Fine,” she says heatedly.  He hears footsteps, and then the tumblers of her door locks click.  “Come in, if you must.”  She hangs up and he can hear her walk away.

He opens the door and cautiously walks into the apartment.  Before turning to find her, he locks the door behind him.  When he faces the room, he sees her sitting curled up in the same chair she had occupied the last time he was there.  Her left elbow is propped on her right arm, which is draped over her knees.  Her head is turned away from the couch, and she is looking at the ground, her left hand shielding her face from his view.  She is clad in a tank top and pajama pants, and her hair is all messed up.  Either she had already been to bed and could not sleep, or she had been running her hands through her hair repeatedly.

He walks over to her and kneels in front of the chair.  Holding her right hand in his, he softly says, “Sara?”  He hears a sniffle, but otherwise gains no reaction.  “Sara, please.  Look at me,” he continues, still in a soft and caring voice.

After what feels like an eternity, she finally looks into his eyes.  He can see the pain in her eyes along with the tears threatening to fall.  He knows she’s trying to get through this on her own.  Doesn’t she know that I can help, he thinks.  That I want to help?

Suddenly, she makes a disgusted sound in her throat, pulls her hand out of his, rises and stalks to the other side of the room, keeping her back to him.  This takes him completely by surprise, so he’s still on his knees when she speaks for the first time since he entered the room.

“See?  This is exactly why I didn’t want to let you in: that look, right there.  I don’t need your sympathy.  I just need to be left alone.”

He stands, still speaking in a calm, soft voice.  “No, Sara, look again.  This isn’t sympathy, it’s empathy.  I’ve gone through this myself before, so I-”

She spins, facing him.  “Yeah, in the middle of the police station.”  She points an angry finger at him.  “You didn’t have a knife held to your throat with no one around to help you.  You weren’t in that room alone.”

He holds his hands up defensively.  “You’re right...and I was so scared for you.”  He put his hands down, and started slowly towards her.  “I begged the guy to open the door.  I needed to get in there.  I had to make sure you were alright.  Honey, you HAD to make it.  I wouldn’t have been able to stand it if you didn’t.  Being so close, yet losing you to him.”  He turns his face away and talks angrily at the wall.  “All because of a stupid door.”

I took for granted, all the times
That I thought would last somehow
I hear the laughter, I taste the tears
But I can't get near you now

He turns back to her and holds his hand out, now that he’s only a couple of steps away.  “I couldn’t help you then, but I CAN help you now.  Please, let me help you?”

“Three times in one day?”

“Huh,” he asks eloquently.

“You: begging.  I didn’t think you did that.  And now you’ve done it three times in one day?”

Oh, can't you see it baby
You've got me goin' crazy

He pauses and looks directly into her eyes.  “I’ve never had this much to lose before.”  Her eyes widen in surprise.  “Please,” he says again, his hand still outstretched to her.

She looks at his hand.  Just as he’s about to let his hand drop and try another tactic, she looks up into his eyes again, and reaches her hand out to his.  He gives a half smile and lets out a sigh of relief.  Her hand enfolded in his, he gently pulls her over to the couch and seats her close to him.  She keeps her head down, staring at the floor.  He puts his other hand on top of their joined hands and waits for her to be ready to talk to him.

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

He traces a pattern on the back of her hand while he waits for her to begin.  She looks at their hands, and then gives a big sigh.

“I…I just…I don’t,” she begins.

“Shhhhh…Take your time, honey.  I’m not going anywhere.  Whenever you’re ready, I’ll be here to listen.”

“But I don’t know how long it will take.  What if we’re up all night?  You shouldn’t lose sleep over this.”

“Then it takes all night.”  He shrugs off her concerns and tries to comfort her.  “You’re not going to be alone in this.  I am never going to leave you feeling alone ever again.”

This makes her look up and study his eyes.  She sees his determination, and realizes there is no way to get rid of him now.  She sighs again, leans towards him, and rests her head on his shoulder.  He removes his one hand from her grasp, puts that arm around her, and strokes her hair; anything to get her to relax.  He feels her breathing begin to even out.  Then her head moves closer to his neck, almost like she’s trying to get comfortable.

They stay that way for a couple of minutes.  Then he notices her breathing has calmed even more, and she hasn’t moved for a while.  He looks down at her and quickly realizes that she has fallen asleep.  After everything she went through today, he definitely wants her to get some sleep, but he wants to make sure she will sleep through the day as well.  He looks around at the couch they are seated on.  It looks long enough, but that big pillow will definitely have to go.

He carefully toes his shoes off one at a time, and removes his jacket slowly so as not to jostle her too much.  Then he nudges the pillow onto the floor, and lies down on the couch cautiously.  He tries to arrange them both into a comfortable position: him lying down on his back; her between him and the back of the couch, with her head still on his shoulder, and her left arm resting across him.

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Chapter 2

He wakes up slowly.  Something is waking him up, but it takes his brain a couple minutes to figure out what it is.  Then he feels something shift beside him and his eyes shoot open.

That is not my ceiling, is his first thought.  He takes a minute to collect his thoughts and then remembers coming over to Sara’s house.  Guess I was more tired than I thought.  He had meant to leave after letting her lay for a while, but he must have fallen asleep at some point.

He looks over at her and sees that they are still basically in the same position he had placed them in several hours ago…basically.

He is still on his back, and she is still between him and the back of the couch.  But sometime during the night she shifted enough that her body now laid half over him, and her left arm is snaked further around his body.

She was not the only one who moved.  It would appear that his arms must have decided they were unhappy with where they were, because while they had slept, they had taken up residence around Sara’s body.  His right hand is presently lying on her hip.  His left arm wrapped firmly around Sara’s shoulders and holding her snugly against him.  It was not a bad position, and in fact he found it very relaxing.

She begins to grow restless in her sleep and starts to shift her position again.  Her left hand slowly moves its way up his chest, carefully inching along the crook of his neck, then up his nape and into his hair where her fingers begin to unconsciously stroke the soft curls found there.  While his brain is occupied with the sensation created by her hand, she tilts her head in to slide over his shoulder and rest in the crook of his neck with her mouth barely touching his neck.  She is so close he feels her breath as it brushes over his skin.  Then her leg decides to join the party as it slides up and over his legs, ending up slightly bent and mere inches below his crotch.  He breathes an immediate sigh of relief when she stills, because the subtle erection he awoke with is quickly reaching epic proportions, and there is no way he wants to reveal this to Sara.

He closes his eyes and begins trying to concentrate on anything other than the way Sara feels as she is draped over him at the moment.

Baseball.  Baseball is always a good distraction.  Best players in my favorite positions.  No, that isn’t helping…Stats!  Plenty of stats to concentrate on, like home runs.  Where you round all the bases and try to score…Ok, that’s not working either.  Oh God, please don’t move your leg again.

Just then he feels her eyelashes flutter against his skin and her breathing changes its pattern.  Oh crap, she’s about to wake up.  Now what do I do?

While he is trying to come up with some kind of an answer, Sara begins to move in earnest and actually awakens.  He looks down at her and into her eyes when they finally stay open and he instantly forgets everything, including his predicament.

He smiles with a certain timidity.  “Good afternoon.”

“Hey,” she says as she gently smiles back.

Her eyes slide slowly closed again as she tries to snuggle herself closer to him.  She freezes for a second, then relaxes herself into him again.  “Gris?”

“Yeah?”

“What are we doing?”

He tenses, “What do you mean?”

“Well, I don’t quite understand how I ended up lying on top of you with your hands rubbing my back.”

His brow wrinkles in confusion until he realizes what she means and stills his hands.  Apparently after the last time she moved, his hands decided they needed to move and feel her.  Both were moving slowly and gently; his left hand trailing along her right shoulder, and his right hand exploring the area from her right hip to the small of her back. 

“Uh…well, um…see I…you…we were talking and…”  He sighs puts his head back and closes his eyes.

“Just let me get up.”

“No, don’t…”  He says as he raises his head, but it’s too late.  She had already pushed herself up to climb over him, and moved her leg, but then stopped and looked down.  He notices where her eyes are drawn, expels a harsh breath and lets his head fall back again.

His face fills with shame as he pushes his way off of the couch and away from her.  He starts walking towards the door, but then realizes he does not have on his shoes.  As he was walking back to the couch to pick them up, Sara put a hand out to grab his arm, but Grissom would have nothing to do with it.  He evades her arm, grabs his shoes, and walks towards the door, not even bothering to put them on.  That can wait until later.

At the door he pauses and turns his head slightly back towards her, but not enough to show his whole face.  “Don’t worry about coming in to work tonight.  You need a break from this.  Take a personal day or something, but I don’t want to see you in the lab.”

As he opens the door to leave, he hears the noise every man dreads in his position: laughter.  She is laughing at him.  The need to leave is overwhelming.  He takes off slamming the door behind him and pounding down the stairs.  He is not a young man, but it is amazing how motivating embarrassment is in getting a person away from a situation.

He tries to pull open the car door, but it will not budge, until he realizes he has not punched the button to unlock the doors yet.  He finally gets the door unlocked and opened.  He throws his shoes inside, closes the door, and turns the key.  He slams both hands against the steering wheel in frustration, but suddenly realizes he is still sitting in the parking lot at Sara’s apartment.  Must get out.  Must escape, is all he can think about.

He turns his head to look behind him before he can back up.  That forces his gaze past her door.  His eyes stop when he sees her outside standing at the top of the stairs.  Without looking any further, he quickly drops the car into gear and backs up…

…Right into the dumpster.  The sudden jarring causes his head to clear a little, and he sees Sara put a hand to her mouth.  Probably to hide her laughter.  He shifts the car into drive, squeals his way out of the parking lot, and hastily drives home.  Back to safety.

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Chapter 3

For the first time in as long as he can remember, Grissom is actually dreading coming into work.  What if she ignored what I said?  What if she actually comes to the lab? he thinks.  Well, then kick her out.  You are the supervisor.  She has to listen to you he tells himself.

At a stop light, he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.  Here goes nothing he says to himself as he pulls into the parking lot.

Grissom gets out of his car and takes a look around.  He does not see Sara’s car anywhere.  Since Sara is usually early, he takes this as a good sign and walks through the doors of the building.

He picks up his messages at the front desk and flips through them on the way to his office.  One of the notes is about Sara calling in to take a personal day.  He sighs in relief.  Hoping he can get his embarrassment under control enough to enable them to work together tomorrow.

As he walks into his office, a voice comes from beside the door and makes him jump.

“He lives,” Catherine says sarcastically.  “Where have you been?”

Grissom gets his breathing under control.  “God, Cath, you scared me.  What do you mean, where have I been?”

“The boys told me you left last night asking about Sara.  Nicky specifically said you weren’t sure if she was alright.  So, I called your house, but no one answered.  I even left two messages.  When that didn’t work, I called your cell.  But apparently you were too busy to answer that one, too.”

When Catherine mentions his cell phone, he pulls it out of his pocket and sees that indeed he does have a message along with two missed calls.  “Sorry, Cath, I didn’t hear it ring.  Should I even bother to listen?”

“Naw.  It’s just asking where you are and how Sara’s doing.”

Grissom walks to his desk and starts sorting through the assignments deciding who he want working which case.  “Well, I’m fine.  Sara is going to be taking a day off, but she’ll be fine.  She just needs a break right now.”

“Good.  I’m glad to hear it.”  Catherine walks over to his desk and looks over his shoulder at the papers in his hand.  “Just what were you doing so that you couldn’t hear the phone?”

“Oh, umm, I was talking to Sara and must have been distracted.”

Cath laughs softly.  “I know how distracting Sara can be for you.”

“Catherine!”  Gil blushes as he thinks about that afternoon

“What?”  She asks while laughing harder.  She turns her attention from the papers to his face and notices how red his skin has become.  “Gil?”

“What?”

“Why are you blushing?  I don’t think I ever remember you blushing before.”

“I…uh…it…It’s nothing.”  He stands up from his chair and moves towards the door with papers in his hand.  “I’ve got to hand the assignments out.”

“Fine, be that way.  But don’t even start thinking we’re done here.  I’ve got a good memory.”

“And are extremely nosey.”  Grissom says beneath his breath as she walks out the door he has opened for her.

“What was that?”

“Nothing, Catherine.  Nothing at all.”

**********

Grissom is studying the trace results from the B&E he had assigned to Greg and himself as he walks into his office.  He has finally been able to concentrate on something other than the events of this afternoon.  What happened has been plaguing his mind at different opportunities all night.  I only hope I didn’t miss anything at the scene.

He is about to sit down when Sara who came in just behind him speaks up.  “Hey, Grissom.”

Hearing her voice shocks him so much that he instantly drops down to his chair.  The only problem: he misses his chair by nearly a foot which leaves him plopped upright on the floor with a stunned, hurt look on his face and the papers crumpled in his hands.

When he finally comes back around, he once more hears her laughter.  Again, his utter embarrassment has caused her amusement.

He clenches his jaw in anger, pulls himself up, and situates himself behind his desk.  Placing the papers neatly on top, he readjusts his glasses and looks directly at Sara.  “I thought I told you I didn’t want to see you today,” he says sharply.  “What are you doing here?”

Instantly all humor leaves her face and Sara raises an eyebrow at his tone.  “I came for two reasons.  One,” she brings her hands, which had previously been hidden behind her this whole time, into view.  “I thought I would return the jacket you left at my apartment.  You were in such a hurry, you left it behind.”  She walks up to the desk and stretches her right hand out to give him his coat.

He glares at her for a minute before taking the jacket from her hand.  “Thank you…and the other reason?”

“The other reason is to apologize.”

A confused look crosses Grissom’s face.  “Apologize?”

“Yeah…can I shut the door?”

“Why?”

“Because I’d rather not have this conversation if just anybody can walk by and hear it.”

Grissom sighs.  “Fine, but make it quick.  I have to get back with Greg about our case.”

She walks over to the door and closes it carefully.  Then she walks over to the chair in front of his desk and sits down.  She looks down at the floor, licks her lips, clears her throat, and sits up straight.

Grissom takes his glasses off, closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose.  “Look, you’re obviously having a hard time with this, so why don’t you forget it and just go home.”

“I need to do this, Grissom.  I wanted to say I’m sorry about this afternoon.  I didn’t think…How could I realize…”

Just then a knock came at the door and Greg poked his head inside.  “Hey, Grissom, you busy?  Cause I just got done with DNA, and they don’t have any viable matches yet.  So…Sara,” he exclaims as he finally notices she is in the room.  “I thought you were taking the day off?”

“I am,” she says.  “I just needed to talk to Grissom about something.  Then it’s back to the apartment for me.”

“Oh, ok.  I’ll get out of your hair then.”

“I should be done soon, Greg.  I’ll come find you,” Grissom says.

“Alright.  Bye, Sara.”

“Bye, Greg,” she says as he closes the door behind him.  “Anyway, back to what I was saying…”

They both look at the phone as it begins to ring.  Grissom picks it up and talks for a couple of minutes.  Sara sits there, visibly beginning to get frustrated.  He ends the call and says, “Sorry about that.  What were you trying to…”

Another knock comes on the door, but this time it’s Sofia.  “Gil.”  He cringes slightly at the casual use of his first name, and happens to notice that Sara is now sitting very straight in her chair and is much more tense than she was before.  Sofia walks towards the desk and continues, “I just wanted to let you know that my case was open and shut.  The guy confessed…Oh!  Sara.  What are you doing here?  I thought you took a day off.”

“I am.  I just needed to talk to Grissom.”

“If you’ll excuse us, Sofia, I’ll talk to you about your case later.”  He said before Sofia could start talking again.

“Ok.  I’ll catch you later, Gil.  Bye, Sara.”  She turns around and walks back out the door without closing it.

Sara sighs in frustration.  “We can’t do this here.  Too many distractions.”  Sara stands up and walks over to the door.  “Come over to my place after shift, and I’ll have breakfast waiting for you.  Then we can talk.”

“How about we just forget…”

“No!”  She interrupts him.  “I’ll be waiting for you to stop by.  I really need to explain a few things.  Please, Gris, just come.”

He sighs and puts his glasses back on.  “I’ll be there…after I’m done with everything here.”

“Good.  I’ll be waiting up for you.  Goodnight, Gris.”  She exits his office closing the door behind her.

After she is gone, Grissom takes off his glasses and lays his head down over his arms on top of his desk.  Why did I agree to that?  I wanted to stay away from her today.  Not have breakfast with her.  He takes a deep breath, gets up, and grabs the papers from the desk.  Might as well get back to work.  Hopefully it will distract me until then.

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Chapter 4

Grissom was tempted to just keep working.  There was always paperwork to do.  He could go through the evidence one more time.  Instead he decided it might be better just to get it over with.  Then he could go back home, maybe have a drink, and try to shove this all deep into the bleak recesses of his mind.

The drive to her apartment was much shorter than he remembered.  Each step is a struggle as he climbs the stairs to her apartment: part of him wanting to get this over with, the other part wanting to go home to forget about the whole thing, and each fighting for supremacy.  Once at the door, he stands there, but the decision to knock or not is made for him as Sara opens the door.

She looks at him, her brow wrinkled in confusion.  “Are you gonna stand out there all morning, or do you want to come inside?”

He stands there blinking at her.

She gives a soft sigh and her face falls.  “I’m leaving the door open.  Come in if you want.”  She turns and goes back into her apartment.

He has made her sad again, something he has desperately been trying to avoid.  Time to stop the pattern.  He squares his shoulders, walks through the door, and closes it gently behind him.  As he silently walks further into the room he can barely make out what Sara is softly muttering to herself.

“Damnit.  Why do you have to push him, Sara?  Can’t you be patient a little while longer?  He’s just not ready for this.”  He listens to her berate herself about him and his reactions.  Suddenly, he realizes she is just as nervous about this business as he is and a huge weight is lifted off of his heart.

He clears his throat and Sara’s head snaps up.  She leaps off the chair.  “Gris!  So you decided to come in.”

“Yeah, well you said you had something you needed to say.”

“Yes, I do…I mean…Can I get you something?”

“Water’s fine.”

“Ok.”  She walks towards the fridge then turns back.  “Bottled or tap.”

“Whatever’s easiest.”

She goes to the fridge and pulls out two bottles of water.  “You know you’re gonna have to make a decision sometime.”  She gets two glasses down from the cupboard.

He looks at the back of her head.  “I think I made a pretty important decision.”  She turns to look at him and they lock eyes.  “I walked through that door.”

Their eyes stay locked until the corner of Sara’s mouth curves up in a slight smile.  Then she turns away to concentrate on the water.

He walks over and sits on the end of the couch closest to the chair Sara was occupying.  He half smiles when he realizes they keep sitting in the same places.  It’s almost as though they have found the places easiest for themselves: a comfort zone so to speak.  Grissom has never really felt comfortable in another person’s home, but he finds himself able to relax on that couch.  He was just remembering yesterday and how it felt to hold Sara, when a glass suddenly appears in front of his face.

“Thanks.”

“No problem.”  Sara sits in the chair, her feet flat on the floor, with the glass in her lap.  She’s holding it with both hands and playing with the condensation on the outside.

After a couple of seconds, she jumps up again.  “Breakfast.  I forgot I promised you breakfast.”

“Sara, don’t worry…”

She ignores him as she looks through her fridge and cupboards.  “Ok, I have bagels and cream cheese, some eggs, tofu which I don’t see you eating in this lifetime, and…that looks like everything.  Want some eggs, or a bagel?”

He sighs and gives up.  “Eggs are fine.”

She makes the eggs, splits them up between two plates and brings them over.  They eat in silence.  When they are both done, she takes the plates and puts them in the dishwasher.  She looks at his glass on the coffee table.  “More water,” she asks?

“Sure.”

She picks up his glass, refills his and her, and brings it back to him.  Then she sits down with her own glass, playing with it like she was before breakfast.

He waits.  He knows from an earlier confrontation that he just needs to sit until she is ready.  Only then will she say what needs to be said, not before.  Besides that, she is the one who wanted the conversation, so he knows he is not leaving until she says it all.

“I want to talk about what happened yesterday.”

Grissom’s face instantly turns red with embarrassment and he tenses up.  “Sara…” he protests.

“Grissom…Just…Just let me explain.”  He nods his head and she continues.  “I’ve been a CSI for many years and I have a degree in physics, so I’ve lived in a man’s world for a long time.  Do you really think I’ve spent all that time around men and never heard them talking about sex and the things that happen?  I know all about what happens to a guy’s body when they sleep.  It’s nothing to be ashamed of.  And I only laughed because the situation was funny.  Of course this would happen between me and you.”  She chuckles a little and gives a half smile.  “I didn’t really think anything of it until the door slammed after you.  Then I got worried and followed you outside.  You must have been moving really fast to be in your car before I was out the door, and then I saw you hit the dumpster.  I was really worried, and about to run down the stairs to check on you when you took off.  I’m sorry I laughed, but I wasn’t making fun of you.  I would never make fun of you.  I have far too much respect for you to do that.”  Their eyes lock at this last statement.

His eyes soften and he relaxes back into the couch.  “Ok, I’ll accept that, but what about this morning in my office?”

She gives a snort of laughter and a disbelieving look comes over her face.  “Come on Gris, you missed the chair when I said hello.  If you can’t see the humor in that, then I have no hope for you.”

His mouth twitches slightly, and she goes in for the kill.

“I mean really, just imagine if it had been Hodges.”

He could not help himself at that picture.  He gives a bark of laughter and smiles.  “Alright, alright.  It was funny.”  He shifts back in his seat slightly.  “Doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt.”

She laughs.  “Yeah, you kinda hit the floor hard.  I’d be surprised if it didn’t.”  He sees her giving him a once over, then her mouth twitches.  “Are you still in pain?”  He gives a slight shrug.  Her eyes shining with laughter and a smirk on her face she asks, “Want me to kiss it and make it better?”

He looks down, swallows visibly and decides to take a chance.  “What would you do,” he raises his head and looks directly into her eyes, “if I said yes?”

This shocks her completely.  Her jaw drops open and her eyes just look at him, unblinking. 

“Sara,” he asks after she is still like that after a couple of seconds.  She does begin breathing again, but otherwise there is no reaction.  He tries again worry slightly coming through in his tone.  “Sara?”

Before he could move, she’s in front of him.  She puts her hands on either side of his face, leans down and kisses him.  It’s just a chaste kiss, mouths closed and no tongues, but the power behind it is amazing.

She pulls back and rests her forehead against his; both breathing heavier.  He puts a hand behind her neck and licks his lips wanting to get the soft feel of her lips against his back.  “Gris…” she begins.

“Yes.”  He breathes the answer softly, then pulls her in for another kiss.

This one starts off like the other, chaste, but then Gil opens his mouth and takes her bottom lip and sucks gently on it.  Sara puts her hands back on his face, but soon moves them so one is playing with the curls at the nape of his neck and the other is resting on his chest just below his shoulder.  She breaks the kiss again.  “Gris…”

“What,” he asks as he tries to pull her back in.

“This is not a good position for me.”  He opens his eyes and sees that she is still bent over him.  “And I’d really like to continue this…”

That’s all the encouragement he needs.  “Ok,” he says interrupting her.  He kisses her again as he lays down on the couch pulling her on top of him.  “How’s this,” he asks between kisses.

“Mmmm,” is all she says in agreement.

His tongue snakes out seeking entry and she opens her mouth to him.  Their tongues begin dueling with energy and curiosity.  This new position gives both of them more freedom to move their hands and explore each other, and find exactly what the other likes; which areas when touched make the other sigh, groan or squirm.  He pulls her close against him and knows she can feel the erection growing between them.  But this time there is no embarrassment, only the satisfaction of having Sara where he has needed her to be for a very long time.

After what feels like a few minutes, but in reality is closer to half an hour, he feels Sara slow things down.  “Gris,” she says as she stops kissing him.

He laughs against her neck.  “Am I doing something wrong, or do you just like interrupting things?”

“Let’s see…”  She pulls his face back to hers and kisses him passionately, he participating enthusiastically.  “Mmmmm, no, not doing anything wrong.”

“Then what is it?”

“Don’t you…I just…Can we slow down?”

Confused, Grissom asks, “Slow down?”

“Yeah.  I don’t…”  She sighs.  “I can’t have this conversation like this.  Can we sit up, please?”

“Umm, sure.”  Grissom loosens the hold he has on her, sits up, and looks at the floor, at the coffee table, anywhere but at Sara.  She moves to sit beside him on the couch, and takes his hand.

“Gris, look at me.  I wanna make sure you are actually hearing what I’m saying.”  He turns his head and looks warily into her eyes.  “I don’t want you to think I don’t want this.  I have made it clear how I feel about you, or at least I believe I’ve made my feelings known.”  He shakes his head yes, so she continues.  “What I don’t know is how you feel about this.  One minute I’ll think you’re interested, and the next you blow me off like I don’t even matter.  You leave me so confused.”

He looks away from her, sighs, then looks back, his eyes full of determination.  “Sara.  I don’t want to hide anymore.”

“What are you talking about, Gris?”

He moves the hand not held in hers to her face and rubs his thumb along her cheek.  “I’ve been fighting myself for so long.  I can’t…Sara, I want to be with you.”

I wonder how we can survive

This romance

But in the end if I’m with you

I’ll take the chance

“Gris…are you sure?”

He smiles.  “Sara, you know my first name.  After all this, I think you can use it.”

She gives him a huge grin.  “Gil.”

He puts his forehead against hers and sighs.  “It sounds so good to hear you say that.”  He gives her a small kiss then pulls back to look at her.  “So, we’re slowing down?”

“Yes, I just want you to be sure.  Because the further we take this, the harder it will be for me to let go when you decide you don’t want this.”

“But I’m…”

Sara places her hand over his mouth stopping whatever he was going to say.  “Please.  For my peace of mind.”

He sighs against her hand and nods.

“Thank you.”  She moves her hand slightly so she can run her thumb against his lips.  “In the meantime, how about a sleepover?”

He raises his eyebrow then gives her thumb a kiss.  “What happened to slowing down?”

She laughs.  “Just sleep, Gil.”  The half smile of his comes out at her easy use of his name.  “I don’t want to let go just yet.”

He realizes that they haven’t stopped touching since that first kiss.  “I don’t want to let go yet either.”

Sara smiles softly.  “Then it’s settled.”

She gets off the couch and pulls him up towards her bedroom.  She enters the room first, never letting go of his hand.  When they reach the bed, Sara stops and nervously looks back at Grissom.  He stands next to her, puts his hand to her cheek and gives her a small kiss of encouragement.  She sits on the bed and takes her shoes, motioning to Grissom to do the same.  After he toes them off, she slides to the other side of the bed.  Her hand still clasped in his forces him to join her on the bed.  They lay down at the same time; their heads on opposite sides of one pillow with their entwined hands resting between them.

Gil moves his other hand up and entangles it in her hair.  “Goodnight, Sara.”

“Goodnight, Gil.”

They smile looking at each others eyes, and eventually fall asleep with their clothes on.  Never losing their hold on one another.

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